WayMaker Ministries-NOLA Blog

Masterpiece in Progress...

Thu, 10 Sep 2026 23:40:44 GMT

You are God’s handiwork—and He isn’t finished yet.

When we hear the word masterpiece, we often picture something flawless: a beautiful painting hanging in a museum, perfectly finished and admired by everyone who sees it. So when Christians say, “You are God’s masterpiece,” it can sometimes feel difficult to believe. If I’m God’s masterpiece, why do I have so many flaws? Why do I struggle with the things I struggle with? Why have I made so many mistakes? Why are there parts of myself I wish were different?

Perhaps we misunderstand what makes something a masterpiece. A masterpiece is not valuable because every part of it is perfect. It is valuable because of the artist who created it, the intention with which it was made, and the love, thought, and purpose poured into its creation.

You Are His Handiwork

Ephesians 2:10 tells us, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Depending on the Bible translation you use, the word translated as workmanship may also appear as handiwork or masterpiece. The original Greek word is poiēma, meaning something that has been made—a work of the maker.

That gives us a beautiful way of understanding ourselves: you are something God made. You were not mass-produced. You were not an afterthought. God did not accidentally give you your personality, your particular gifts, your sensitivity, your intensity, your intellect, your sense of humor, your capacity to love, or the countless little things that make you distinctly yourself. God intended you.

Psalm 139 expresses this same truth: “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” The psalmist responds, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Scripture does not describe our creation as random or impersonal. It describes a God who knows us intimately and creates with intention.

God Is an Artist

In his Letter to Artists, Pope John Paul II reflected on God as the original Creator and wrote that every person is entrusted with the task of making his or her life “a work of art, a masterpiece.” Whether or not we come from the same Christian tradition as John Paul II, the image is a powerful one because it reflects something we see throughout Scripture: God is both our Creator and the One who continues to work within us.

That means a masterpiece can still be in progress.

God created you intentionally, but He did not create you as a finished product who would never struggle, change, fail, learn, suffer, or grow. We are created in the image of God, but we also live in a fallen world. We carry wounds. We develop unhealthy patterns. We make poor choices. Other people hurt us, and sometimes we hurt other people. There may be parts of ourselves that genuinely need healing and change. None of that means the Artist made a mistake.

Imperfection Is Not the Same as Worthlessness

Sometimes we unconsciously believe that our worth rises and falls according to how well we are doing. We may believe that we are lovable when we are kind, valuable when we are productive, good when we make the right decisions, worthy when other people approve of us, beautiful when our bodies look a certain way, or acceptable to God when we are behaving well.

The Gospel tells us something radically different: our worth is not something we earn through our performance. We are created in God’s image and deeply loved by Him. Romans 5:8 reminds us that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” God did not wait for us to become polished, healed, obedient, or impressive before loving us.

This doesn’t mean everything we do is good. It doesn’t mean sin doesn’t matter or that we never need to change. Christianity takes repentance and transformation very seriously. But there is an enormous difference between saying, “There are things in me that need healing,” and believing, “There is something fundamentally wrong with me.” There is a difference between saying, “I did something wrong,” and believing, “I am a mistake.” God may want to change something in you without wishing He had created someone instead of you.

Think About a Handmade Work of Art

Imagine a beautiful piece of handmade pottery. It may have slight variations in its shape. You might see evidence of the hands that formed it. Its glaze may be darker in one place and lighter in another. It may not have the mathematical uniformity of something produced by a machine. Those differences do not make the piece meaningless or worthless. They remind us that it was made by someone .

Or imagine an old stained-glass window. Some pieces are brilliantly colored, while others are dark. Some are irregularly shaped. Viewed individually, a particular piece might not seem especially beautiful, but the artist knows where it belongs. The beauty is revealed when we step back and see the whole.

We often examine ourselves one piece at a time: I don’t like this part of my personality. I wish this hadn’t happened to me. I wish I weren’t so sensitive. I wish I hadn’t made that mistake. I wish I looked different. I wish my story were different. And while we are staring at one small piece, God sees the whole window.

Your Wounds Are Not Your Identity

There is another important distinction: not everything that has happened to you was God’s design. Sometimes Christians say, “Everything happens for a reason,” in a way that can make it sound as though every painful experience was deliberately chosen by God. But Scripture gives us a more complicated picture. Human beings have free will. Sin is real. People hurt one another. Bodies become sick. Relationships break. We live in a world that is not yet as it should be.

Yet Scripture repeatedly shows us a God who is able to redeem what is broken. Romans 8:28 tells us that God works in all things for the good of those who love Him. That does not mean that everything that happens is good. It means God is capable of working even within what is not good.

God can redeem and restore. He can bring beauty out of places that once held tremendous pain. A scar is not proof that the original creation was worthless. A scar tells us that there has been a wound and that healing has taken place. Your wounds may become part of your story, but they do not get to define your worth.

The Artist Is Still Working

Perhaps one of the most freeing things we can understand is that God is not finished with us yet . Philippians 1:6 tells us that “he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion.” You do not have to look at yourself today and decide that this is the final version.

The impatient person can become more patient. The frightened person can become courageous. The person who has spent years pleasing everyone else can learn healthy boundaries. The person carrying shame can learn to receive grace. The person who has been wounded can heal. The person who has sinned can repent and begin again. The person who has forgotten who she is can rediscover her identity in Christ.

Christianity is not a story about proving that we were perfect all along. It is the story of creation, brokenness, redemption, and restoration . God creates. Sin wounds. Christ redeems. Grace transforms. Through all of it, the Artist does not abandon His work.

Maybe You Don’t Need to Become Someone Else

Many of us spend years trying to construct a version of ourselves that we believe will finally be worthy of love: prettier, thinner, smarter, more successful, less emotional, more agreeable, more impressive, more productive, less needy, more spiritual, or less complicated.

But healing does not necessarily mean becoming a completely different person. Sometimes healing means allowing God to uncover the person He intended before fear, shame, comparison, wounds, sin, and other people’s expectations began telling us who we were supposed to be. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is wholeness —becoming more fully the person God created you to be.

2 Corinthians 3:18 describes the Christian life as a process of being transformed into the image of Christ “from one degree of glory to another.” Transformation is a process. God works patiently. Growth happens over time. The fact that there is still work to be done does not mean the work already present has no value.

You Are Deliberately and Lovingly Made

So when you hear the words You are God’s masterpiece, don’t hear, “Everything about me is perfect.” Instead, hear this: I was wanted. I was made deliberately. My life has meaning. My dignity does not disappear when I struggle. My mistakes are things I have done; they are not the definition of who I am. My wounds are part of my story, but they are not the author of my story. There are things in me God wants to heal and transform, and the Artist has not walked away from His work.

You don’t have to be flawless to be God’s workmanship, and you don’t have to be finished to be His masterpiece. You can be deeply loved by God and still have growing to do. You can be His handiwork and still need healing. You can have weaknesses and still have purpose. You can have a complicated story and still be a beautiful work of God.

Perhaps that is a better way to understand a masterpiece: not something that was always perfect, but something deliberately conceived, lovingly made, patiently worked upon, and treasured by the Artist who created it.

The Spirit of Joy in Marriage

Mon, 07 Sep 2026 15:14:19 GMT

Below is an audio recording of a talk my husband, Brian, and I gave on living a joy-filled marriage. Enjoy!

Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You

Mon, 10 Aug 2026 13:37:31 GMT

Healing Our Wounds So We Are Free to Love

Many people come to counseling because something in their lives isn’t working the way they want it to. Maybe anxiety seems to take over too easily. Maybe conflict with a spouse quickly becomes overwhelming. Maybe they understand intellectually that they are loved by God, yet somewhere deep inside, they still feel unworthy, unwanted, or alone. Maybe they know what they should think or do, but knowing doesn’t seem to change how they actually feel or respond.

One of the most hopeful ideas in Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You, by Dr. Jim Wilder and his colleagues, is that this disconnect makes sense. Healing is not simply about learning better information or trying harder to think the right thoughts. We are deeply relational beings, created by God to grow and mature through connection—with Him and with one another. When our hearts have been wounded, those wounds can affect our ability to experience that connection.

This is where the work of inner healing becomes so important. Inner healing is the healing of the heart from the wounds we have accumulated throughout our lives. It is not a single experience or a quick fix, but an ongoing encounter with God's truth and love that gradually brings us greater freedom, healing, and holiness.

God Designed Us for Relationship

Scripture has always told us that human beings were created for relationship. We were made to love God and to love one another. We belong to a body. We are adopted into a family. We bear one another’s burdens, and we comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received. Modern neuroscience gives us another window into something Scripture has been telling us all along: relationships profoundly shape us.

Our earliest relationships help teach our brains what to expect from other people and from the world around us. Is it safe to need someone? Will someone come when I am distressed? Can I make a mistake and remain loved? Can I experience strong emotions without losing connection? Can someone be disappointed in me without rejecting me? Over time, these experiences become more than memories. They influence the way we instinctively respond to relationships—including, sometimes, our relationship with God.

Our past, unhealed wounds can become obstacles to knowing God as He truly is and loving others as freely as we desire. If love has repeatedly been accompanied by rejection, abandonment, criticism, betrayal, or shame, we naturally learn to protect ourselves. We build walls around our hearts.

Those walls often served an important purpose at one time. They protected something tender when we did not yet know another way to protect it. The problem is that walls designed to keep pain out can eventually keep love out, too. They can make it difficult to receive love from others, to give love freely, and even to experience the love of God.

Healing, then, is not simply about tearing down our defenses. It is allowing God to show us that we no longer need some of them.

Knowing God’s Love and Experiencing God’s Love

This helps explain why we can know something is true while struggling to experience it as true. A person may sincerely believe, “God loves me,” while another part of them is constantly waiting for rejection. Someone may know that God is merciful while living as though every mistake places God's love in jeopardy. Another person may know that their spouse is not their enemy, yet find their body preparing for battle during an ordinary disagreement. This is not necessarily a failure of faith. Sometimes it reveals a place in the heart that has not yet encountered the truth we already understand with our minds.

One of the central ideas in the Life Model presented in Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You is the importance of joy. We often think of joy as happiness or excitement, but Wilder describes something more relational. Relational joy is the experience of knowing that someone is genuinely glad to be with us. Think about the face of someone who loves you lighting up when you walk into the room. The message is simple: I’m glad you’re here.

Experiences like these help build our capacity for connection, resilience, and emotional regulation. We learn that we can experience distress and eventually return to peace because we are not alone in it. This also gives us a beautiful way to think about our relationship with God.

What if we didn’t only believe that God loves us because Scripture says He does? What if we gradually learned to experience ourselves as someone God delights in—not someone He reluctantly tolerates, not a project He is constantly correcting, and not someone who needs to perform well enough to keep Him pleased, but a beloved child? Inner healing allows the truths we profess with our minds to travel more deeply into our hearts.

Our Wounds Can Become Unfinished Stories

Trauma and painful experiences can leave us with what might be thought of as unfinished stories. Something happened to us, and in the midst of that experience we formed conclusions about ourselves, other people, or God.

I am alone.

I am not worth protecting.

My needs are too much.

People always leave.

If I make a mistake, I will lose love.

I have to keep everyone happy to be safe.

God wasn't there.

The painful event may have ended years ago, but the story can continue to shape our lives because our hearts are still living according to the meaning we made of it. Inner healing invites God into these unfinished stories. Rather than simply analyzing the past or trying to convince ourselves that we shouldn't feel the way we do, we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us back toward the places that still need His presence.

God does not erase our history or pretend that what hurt us didn't happen. Instead, He can begin to retell the story from His vantage point. He can reveal where He was, what was true about us when we believed something very different, and what He wants us to know now. This is why Christian inner healing is more than remembering. It is encounter. We aren't merely asking, What happened to me? We are also asking, Jesus, what do You want me to know about what happened to me?

Why We Sometimes Resist Healing

Even when we want healing, there can be parts of us that are understandably afraid of it. Sometimes we haven't really given God permission to enter certain places. We may trust Him with most of our lives while quietly keeping a particular memory, relationship, loss, or wound behind a locked door.

Sometimes people are afraid that looking honestly at childhood wounds means blaming or dishonoring their parents. But acknowledging that we were wounded does not require us to condemn the people who wounded us. Parents can love their children deeply and still fail them in important ways. They can give us many wonderful things while also leaving wounds that need attention. Healing allows us to hold both truths at the same time.

We may also be afraid of what will happen if painful memories surface. What if opening that door makes everything worse? What if I remember something I don't want to remember? What if the emotions become overwhelming?

This is one reason the guidance of the Holy Spirit is so important. Inner healing should not be an aggressive search for painful memories or an attempt to force ourselves back into traumatic experiences. We don't have to hunt for wounds. We can ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what He wants to heal, when He wants to heal it, and to lead the process with gentleness and truth.

Healing Doesn't Mean Never Becoming Overwhelmed

Another important idea in Wilder’s work is that maturity isn’t the ability to avoid difficult emotions. Mature people still experience fear, anger, grief, shame, disappointment, and pain. The difference is that they increasingly develop the ability to remain themselves—and remain relational—even while experiencing those emotions.

That is an important counseling goal. We aren’t necessarily trying to create a life in which nothing activates us. We’re learning how to experience activation without losing ourselves. Can I be angry and still remember who I am? Can I be afraid without allowing fear to make every decision? Can I experience conflict without immediately attacking, withdrawing, pleasing, or shutting down? Can I feel shame without concluding that I am shameful? Can I be disappointed in myself while remembering how God sees me?

Sometimes our strongest reactions reveal exactly where healing is still needed. A spouse sounds irritated and suddenly we feel abandoned. Someone criticizes us and we immediately become defensive. A friend doesn't respond and our mind constructs an entire story about what we've done wrong. Someone is disappointed in us and we feel an almost desperate need to make everything okay.

Rather than condemning these reactions, we can become curious about them. What is happening inside me right now? What does this situation seem to mean to me? When have I felt this way before? What am I afraid will happen? What am I trying to protect? And eventually, Holy Spirit, what do You want me to know here?

Curiosity creates room for healing where condemnation usually creates more hiding.

Healing Gives Us the Freedom to Love

The goal of inner healing is not simply to become less anxious, less reactive, or more comfortable. Those things may happen, and they matter. But Christian healing ultimately has a greater purpose: freedom to love .

Jesus tells us that the greatest commandments are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Yet wounded hearts often have difficulty loving freely. Fear makes us protect ourselves. Shame makes us hide. Rejection makes us cling or withdraw. Resentment keeps us bound to what happened. The need for approval makes us choose what keeps others happy rather than what God is asking of us.

As God heals these places, we become increasingly free. We can love another person without needing them to fill every empty place in us. We can forgive without pretending that what happened was acceptable. We can establish boundaries without hatred. We can receive criticism without collapsing. We can disappoint someone without believing we have become unlovable.

Most importantly, we become freer to choose God's will.

Christian spiritual tradition sometimes describes this freedom as holy indifference or divine detachment . It does not mean that we stop caring about what happens. It means that our attachments, fears, wounds, and desires no longer have the final word. Instead of saying, God, I'll follow You as long as it doesn't cost me this, the healed heart becomes increasingly able to say, God, I trust You. Show me what You desire, and give me the freedom to choose it.

That is a very different kind of freedom.

Becoming More Fully Who God Created Us to Be

Perhaps one of the most encouraging themes of Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You is that wounds formed in relationships can also be healed through relationships. We need people who can remain present with us when we’re distressed, who don't require us to pretend, and who can remind us who we are when we've temporarily forgotten. Healthy friendships, marriages, families, churches, and counseling relationships can become places where we experience disagreement without abandonment, vulnerability without humiliation, and imperfection without rejection.

Ultimately, though, Christian healing points beyond every human relationship to relationship with God Himself. Pastoral counseling creates space to explore not only What happened to me? and How did I learn to cope? but also Who did God create me to be? What have I come to believe about myself that isn't true? What have my experiences taught me to expect from God? Where have I built walls around my heart? What might God want me to know about the parts of my story that still hurt?

Christian counseling is sometimes misunderstood as an effort to make people behave better, but healing is much richer than behavior modification. It is becoming increasingly able to live from the person God created us to be.

Fear may still visit, but fear doesn't have to make our decisions. Shame may still speak, but we don't have to accept everything it says. Old wounds may still ache, but they don't have to dictate how we relate to the people we love. Our past can be part of our story without remaining the author of our story.

As we invite the Holy Spirit into the wounded places of our hearts, we can begin to experience God's truth where we once believed lies and His presence where we once experienced ourselves as alone. The walls around our hearts can slowly come down. We become freer to receive love and freer to give it.

That is the deeper purpose of inner healing. God does not simply want to make our wounds hurt less. He desires to heal our hearts so that we are increasingly free to know Him, to love others, and to choose His will.

We become free to live from the heart Jesus gave us.

Raising Adults, Not Dependence

Thu, 30 Jul 2026 02:14:39 GMT

How to trade control for influence without losing connection

One of the hardest transitions in parenting is accepting that your role has changed. You never stop being a parent, but you do stop being the primary decision-maker. When children are young, God gives parents authority. As children become adults, that authority naturally gives way to influence.

Many parents don't recognize that this transition has occurred. They continue feeling responsible for decisions that now belong to their adult son or daughter. They believe they are still protecting their child, but the adult child often experiences it as criticism, control, or a lack of confidence.

The goal of parenting is not lifelong dependence. The goal is to raise a wise, faithful adult who is capable of making decisions before God. If we have done our job well, our children eventually no longer need our permission. Instead, we hope they will continue to seek our wisdom because they value our relationship.

A parent directs. A mentor guides. A parent says, "Here's what you're going to do." A mentor says, "Help me understand how you're thinking about this." A parent assumes responsibility for the outcome. A mentor recognizes that the adult child is now responsible for the outcome.

Parents often feel anxious when their adult children make decisions they wouldn't have made themselves. That anxiety can create an overwhelming desire to step in, convince, persuade, warn, or even pressure the child into making a different choice. Unfortunately, the more pressure parents apply, the less influence they usually have. Adult children often stop sharing their lives because every conversation begins to feel like an evaluation.

Mentoring requires a tremendous amount of trust. It means believing that God loves your child even more than you do. It means recognizing that the Holy Spirit is fully capable of convicting, teaching, correcting, and guiding your child without your constant intervention.

One of the greatest differences between parenting and mentoring is the use of questions. Parents often tell. Mentors ask. Instead of immediately offering advice, a mentor becomes curious. "What are you hoping for?" What concerns you about this decision?" "What options have you considered?" "What do you think God might be inviting you to do?" Questions communicate respect. They allow adult children to think rather than simply react.

Mentoring also means allowing natural consequences to become teachers. Loving parents understandably want to spare their children from pain, but some lessons can only be learned through experience. God Himself often teaches us this way. If He allows us the dignity of making choices and learning from them, parents can do the same.

Another important shift is learning to ask permission before giving advice. Instead of saying, "Here's what you should do," a mentor might ask, "Would you like my thoughts?" That simple question honors the adult child's autonomy. Surprisingly, advice that is invited is often received much more openly than advice that is imposed.

Perhaps the greatest challenge is accepting that your child's decisions are no longer your responsibility. You are responsible for loving, praying, encouraging, and speaking truth when appropriate. You are not responsible for making every decision or preventing every mistake.

This doesn't mean becoming passive or indifferent. It means recognizing the difference between influence and control. Influence leaves room for freedom. Control does not.

A question I often ask parents is, "When your daughter is forty-five, what kind of relationship do you hope you have with her?" Most parents describe warmth, trust, honesty, frequent conversations, and closeness. Then I ask, "Does the way you're relating to her today make that future relationship more likely or less likely?" That question often helps parents realize that while control may produce short-term compliance, it frequently damages long-term connection.

One sentence summarizes the transition well: Children need parents who will protect them. Adults need parents who will believe in them. The task is no longer to manage your adult child's life. The task is to become a trusted guide whose wisdom is sought because it is offered with humility, respect, and love—not because it is demanded.

Sloth: The Noonday Devil

Wed, 29 Jul 2026 01:36:22 GMT

The Ancient Battle Behind Our Modern Restlessness

Every once in a while, I come across a book that gives language to something I've observed for years but haven't been able to fully articulate. The Noonday Devil: Acedia, the Unnamed Evil of Our Times by Dom Jean-Charles Nault was one of those books.

It's not a light read. Nault draws heavily from the Desert Fathers, St. Thomas Aquinas, and centuries of Christian spirituality, so it took me some time to work through. But I found myself returning to one central question over and over:

What if one of our greatest spiritual struggles isn't simply busyness, burnout, or laziness? What if it's something much older?

The Church has a name for it: acedia .

Most of us know acedia by its traditional translation, sloth. Unfortunately, that word has become almost synonymous with laziness, and I think we've lost something important because of that. Acedia is much more subtle than refusing to work. It's a quiet resistance to the good God is inviting us into. Thomas Aquinas described it as "sorrow at spiritual good." In other words, it's the strange experience of finding ourselves pulling away from the very things that are meant to bring us life.

How often this shows up in ordinary life! Prayer begins to feel like another obligation instead of a relationship. The work we're called to do starts feeling meaningless. We become impatient with the people we love most. The responsibilities that once felt like a privilege begin to feel like a prison.

We don't necessarily stop believing in God. We simply lose our delight in Him.

One of the images used in the book comes from the Desert Fathers. They described acedia as "the noonday demon" because it often struck monks in the middle of the day. The excitement of the morning had worn off, evening was still far away, and everything felt repetitive. Suddenly the monk became convinced that if he were in a different monastery, with different brothers, under a different abbot, life would be better.

How often we experience the same temptation today. "If I just had a different job..." "If I lived somewhere else..." "If this season of life were over..." "If my circumstances changed..."

Sometimes God really does call us to make significant changes. Discernment matters. But Nault's point is that our first instinct is often to assume the problem is our circumstances when the deeper struggle is happening within our own hearts. That observation feels remarkably relevant today.

We live in a culture that constantly tells us happiness is somewhere else. Another purchase. Another vacation. Another achievement. Another stage of life. We carry devices in our pockets that allow us to escape boredom, discomfort, loneliness, or silence within seconds. None of those things are inherently bad. But they can make it very difficult to remain present long enough for God to meet us where we actually are.

Nault distinguishes between acedia and depression. As someone who spends much of my week sitting with people who struggle with anxiety, grief, and depression, I thought this distinction was important. Depression is not a spiritual failure. Someone living with depression may be showing incredible courage simply by getting out of bed, caring for their family, or praying one honest sentence. Nault doesn't minimize that reality. Instead, he explains that acedia is something different. It concerns our response to God's invitation to love, not the presence or absence of emotional suffering. That distinction is both compassionate and clarifying.

The remedies the Desert Fathers offer are surprisingly simple. One of their most repeated pieces of advice was, "Stay in your cell." At first, that sounds like advice meant only for monks. But Nault explains that the "cell" represents the place where God has asked us to love. For most of us, our "cell" is our marriage, our family, our Church, our work, our friendships, and the ordinary responsibilities that make up daily life.

The temptation of acedia is to believe that fulfillment is always somewhere else. The invitation of Christ is to become faithful where we are. That doesn't mean we never change jobs, move, or make difficult decisions. There are certainly times when those changes are wise and necessary. But before assuming that changing our circumstances will solve our restlessness, perhaps it's worth asking a different question: What is God inviting me to become right here?

Another theme is Nault's emphasis on ordinary faithfulness. We often imagine holiness as dramatic moments of sacrifice or extraordinary spiritual experiences. Yet most of the Christian life is lived in repetition. Preparing another meal. Listening carefully to another person. Showing up for prayer when it feels dry. Keeping our word. Offering forgiveness. Doing the next loving thing. None of those moments usually feel remarkable. Yet over time, they shape a remarkable life.

I think many of us have become allergic many of us have become to silence. Whenever we experience boredom or discomfort, it's almost automatic to reach for a screen. We fill every empty space with noise. Perhaps one of the quiet invitations of this book is simply to recover the courage to be still—not because silence is always comfortable, but because God often speaks there.

The opposite of acedia isn't becoming more productive. It isn't trying harder. It isn't adding more spiritual disciplines to an already full schedule.

The opposite of acedia is learning to remain with God when prayer feels dry; remaining faithful to the people we've been called to love; remaining present instead of constantly escaping into distraction; remaining hopeful even when we cannot yet see what God is doing.

The Noonday Devil isn't simply a book about an ancient vice. It is an invitation to examine our own hearts. Where are we tempted to believe that joy is always somewhere else? Where are we resisting the ordinary ways God wants to meet us today? Perhaps one of the greatest lessons of The Noonday Devil is that holiness is rarely found by chasing another life. More often, it is found by receiving the life God has already given us and learning to love Him—and others—faithfully within it.

Battle Buddies by Beth Maillho

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 03:07:35 GMT

At the end of every appointment, I have my clients pick a Scripture verse, I call it their “anchor verse” for the week. They pull a random card from a deck of 100 with beautiful angel paintings on them, each with a unique Scripture verse on the other side. It's usually how the Holy Spirit puts the exclamation point on our time together. Well, this experience with the Scripture verses had me jumping out of my chair! It unfolded slowly, involving five of six clients in a row over two days. It started with a male client when he pulled his anchor verse.

“A friend is one who loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17

It confused me at first, trying to understand the difference between a friend and a brother. We talked about it a little bit and how it applied to his life.

My next appointment was with another man. He pulled the same Bible verse even though the deck had been shuffled. Interesting... I now understood the verse a bit more, that a brother born for a time of adversity is the person who enters into the battle with you. They are a next-level friend. They are your Battle Buddy , part of your army platoon. I feel like I am this client’s Battle Buddy, and even said to him in full excitement, “Let’s gooooooo!”

Appointment #3. I shuffled the deck, and yet, he pulled the exact same Bible verse! Holy Spirit, what are you doing?? I started paying closer attention. What are the odds of three in a row? This was the last appointment for the day and gave me much to think about.

The next morning, I came in early and freshened up my office. I shuffled the deck, chuckling to myself. Appointment #4 with a couple. Time for the verse. The client read Proverbs 17:17. Again! I couldn’t believe it. The Holy Spirit was clearly at work. I said, “I’m your Battle Buddy, you are each other’s Battle Buddy, and we are going to fight for this marriage.”

Appointment #5 was my first appointment with a new female client. It was time for her to pull a verse, and she… broke the streak. Her verse was the Bible verse for WayMaker Ministries, which is Jeremiah 29:11.

“For I know the plans I have for you … a future full of hope.”

It was the perfect confirmation not only for her story, but for my calling. I know these Scripture cards aren’t supposed to be about me, but God does speak to me through their verses at times.

Appointment #6 was a male. I didn’t expect anything at this point. Silly me. He. Pulled. The. Same. Proverbs 17:17 verse! I just couldn't believe it. I told him everything that had happened over the past two days and explained the verse. I was his Battle Buddy, and more importantly, another prominent person in his life was his life-long Battle Buddy. “Grief work!? Let’s gooooooo!” (My clients and I have a sense of humor together at times, even with grief work.)

Here’s another wild fact: four of the five who pulled that verse share a similar experience that specifically related to the Battle Buddy image. All five were men.

Holy cow! Or rather Holy SPIRIT!

What are the odds of that happening? Next to none. The odds of having five out of six clients pull the same verse out of a deck of 100 unique cards is 1 in 16.8 MILLION!!!!

Think back to the image of the Battle Buddy. Ultimately, Jesus is our true, life-long Battle Buddy. He walks with us in adversity, in grief, in confusion, in hope, and in love. I get the privilege of walking arm-in-arm with my clients into their battles BUT with Jesus as Captain.

But wait, there’s more!

Just when I thought the story was finished, God added one more confirmation for me.

The following weekend, I attended my annual Holy Spirit women’s retreat where a woman prayed over me. She hesitated before sharing what she saw, thinking she’d lost her mind…

“I see you on your belly doing an army crawl, arm over arm, under barbed wire. Does that mean anything?”

I almost fell over. Yes! It meant everything! She saw me in the battle!

I’m still processing what the Holy Spirit is doing not only in my clients but also in me. Watching the Divine Counselor at work is breathtaking. His love is fierce, intentional, and relentless. He is the ultimate and constant Battle Buddy.

Y’all, we hit the Jesus jackpot. We are Jesus millionaires!

Image Credit: Anne Neilson Home Scripture Cards

The Holy Work of Knowing Ourselves

Sat, 24 Jan 2026 20:34:54 GMT

How an honest view of ourselves makes more room for God

The Holy Work of Knowing Ourselves

Why honest self-knowledge is the doorway to God

One of the most honest spiritual questions we can ask is this: Does the way I see myself draw me closer to God—or quietly move me away from Him?

The way we see ourselves matters. We can exaggerate our importance, minimize our worth, hide from our weaknesses, or build an identity around our accomplishments. But Christian self-knowledge invites us somewhere different: into truth.

The ancient wisdom “know thyself” is not a call to self-absorption. It is an invitation to reality. To know ourselves rightly is to recognize both our dignity and our limitations, our gifts and our wounds, our strengths and our dependence. It is learning to stand honestly before God without illusion—and without contempt for the person He created.

Fr. Juan Luis Lorda once shared a wonderfully wry observation: “The best business would be to buy men at their worth and sell them at what they think they’re worth.” It captures something profoundly human. Our self-perception can become remarkably distorted—sometimes inflated, sometimes diminished, and often swinging between the two.

Humility brings us back to reality.

St. John of the Cross understood self-knowledge as essential to knowledge of God. The more honestly we encounter ourselves—our limitations, attachments, motives, fears, gifts, and need for grace—the more honestly we can encounter Him.

We cannot meet God in truth while continually hiding from the truth about ourselves.

Jesus points us toward this kind of humility when He tells us that we must become like little children. A child understands dependence in a way adults spend years trying to escape. Children know they need someone. They receive before they achieve. They are not ashamed of needing help.

Perhaps that is part of what Christ is inviting us to recover.

Humility Is Not Self-Rejection

Humility is often misunderstood as thinking poorly of ourselves. But Christian humility is not self-contempt.

It does not require denying our gifts, minimizing our accomplishments, refusing compliments, or pretending we have nothing valuable to offer.

Humility simply tells the truth.

St. Paul puts it beautifully: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment” (Romans 12:3).

Sober judgment.

Not inflated judgment. Not condemning judgment. Accurate judgment.

Humility allows us to say, God has given me something beautiful here, without needing to believe that makes us better than someone else. It allows us to recognize a weakness without deciding that weakness makes us worthless.

Our gifts are received, not self-generated. They are entrusted to us, not possessed as evidence of our superiority.

That realization doesn't diminish us. It frees us.

Pride Is About More Than Thinking Highly of Yourself

We tend to think of pride as vanity: boasting, showing off, wanting attention, or believing we're better than everyone else.

But spiritual pride can be much quieter.

At its deepest level, pride is the movement toward self-sufficiency—the conviction that I can do this myself. I can define myself. I can control the outcome. I don't need to receive.

And ultimately: I don't need God.

This is why pride can hide even inside insecurity. Constantly thinking about how inadequate we are can still keep our attention relentlessly fixed on ourselves. Both self-exaltation and self-contempt can distort reality.

Humility takes our eyes off the exhausting project of constantly evaluating ourselves and turns them toward God.

Pride asks, How am I doing? How am I being perceived? Am I enough?

Humility asks, God, what is true? What have You given me? Where do I need You? What are You asking of me?

That is a very different way to live.

Humility Makes Room for Grace

Scripture is remarkably consistent about the relationship between humility and grace.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).

“This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit” (Isaiah 66:2).

And James tells us simply: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble” (James 4:6).

Humility creates space for God because humility acknowledges that we need Him.

Many people who sincerely desire humility carry a hidden fear: If I stop proving myself, promoting myself, defending myself, or controlling how others see me, will I disappear? Will I be overlooked?

The Christian answer is wonderfully freeing.

You do not have to manufacture your significance.

God already sees you.

Your worth does not rise when someone admires you or fall when someone misunderstands you. You don't have to construct an identity impressive enough to deserve love. Your identity begins with something you received rather than something you accomplished:

You belong to God.

Humility Can Be Practiced

The beautiful thing about humility is that it is not simply something certain personalities naturally possess. It is a virtue, which means it can be practiced.

Usually, the opportunities aren't dramatic.

Humility can look like telling the truth about ourselves without exaggeration or self-contempt. It can mean allowing someone else to be celebrated without needing to redirect attention toward ourselves. It can mean receiving correction without collapsing into shame or immediately becoming defensive.

Sometimes humility means admitting, I don't know.

Sometimes it means saying, I was wrong.

Sometimes it means recognizing, I'm actually good at this, and God has given me this gift for a reason.

Sometimes it means asking for help.

And sometimes humility is simply loosening our grip and letting God be God.

Each of these small acts returns us to reality.

Becoming Real Before God

St. Augustine considered humility foundational to the Christian life because every other virtue depends upon our willingness to live in truth before God.

And that may be the deepest reason self-knowledge matters.

We cannot surrender what we refuse to acknowledge. We cannot ask God to heal wounds we insist aren't there. We cannot repent of motives we won't examine. We cannot properly steward gifts we pretend we don't possess. And we cannot receive grace while insisting we have no need of it.

Knowing ourselves is not the destination of the spiritual life.

It is a doorway.

The more honestly we know ourselves, the more freely we can bring ourselves to God—not the person we wish we were, not the person we think others expect us to be, and not the carefully managed version we present to the world.

Just ourselves.

And that is the person God already knows completely and loves.

To grow in humility is not to disappear. It is to become more fully real.

And in becoming real, we become increasingly available—to truth, to grace, to wisdom, and ultimately, to God Himself.

Inspired by a daily meditation by Jeff Cavins on the Hallow app.

Loved Much, Forgiven More

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 01:25:21 GMT

Loved Much, Forgiven More: Finding Freedom in Christ’s Mercy

“Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much.” — Luke 7:47

There’s something powerful about these words of Jesus. He was speaking to a woman known in her town for her sins, a woman who likely carried shame wherever she went. Yet instead of condemnation, Jesus saw her heart. She wept at His feet, poured out her costly perfume, and showed Him a love born out of desperation and gratitude.

For many women today, the weight of the past can feel overwhelming. We replay our mistakes, our regrets, the things we wish we had done differently. The enemy whispers that we are disqualified, unworthy, or too far gone. But Jesus speaks a different word: forgiven.

This woman’s story reminds us that forgiveness is not earned by perfection. It is received through faith and shown through love. Her “many sins” did not disqualify her from the grace of God; in fact, they became the backdrop against which His mercy shone even brighter .

Sisters, our love for Christ grows deeper when we truly grasp how much He has forgiven us. Out of that love, we are freed—not to dwell on our failures, but to live boldly and generously. When we believe His words, shame loses its grip and love takes its place.

If you carry regrets, hear the words of Jesus over your life: “Her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much.” Let His forgiveness wash over you, and let your love for Him flow freely in response. Because the greater the love, the greater the forgiveness.

The Way of the Cross is the Way to Joy

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 01:13:33 GMT

Embracing Hardship as the Doorway to Resurrection Life

We live in a world that constantly tells us to avoid pain at all costs. Discomfort is treated as failure. Suffering is seen as meaningless. And yet, the Christian story tells us something radically different: without the Cross, there can be no Resurrection.

When Jesus invited His disciples to follow Him, He didn’t promise a life free of hardship. Instead, He said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). This wasn’t a metaphor meant to inspire vague courage—it was a call to a way of life. The cross is heavy, inconvenient, and painful. But it is also the very path that leads to life.

Think of the garden before Easter morning. The women came to anoint Jesus’ body, grieving under the weight of loss. They could not yet see the glory of what God was about to do. Resurrection was coming—but it came through the Cross, not around it. The empty tomb only shines with hope because the crucifixion came first.

For us, this means that our personal crosses—whether they are struggles in relationships, health, finances, or deep wounds we carry in silence—are not wasted. They can feel crushing in the moment, but they are also the places where God’s power is revealed. As Paul writes, “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed…struck down, but not destroyed, always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies” (2 Corinthians 4:8–10).

It is tempting to seek resurrection joy without walking the path of the Cross. But Easter joy without Good Friday would be shallow. Real joy comes not from pretending life is easy, but from discovering that even in the darkest valleys, Christ walks with us—and He leads us out the other side.

So, when you feel the weight of your cross, don’t despair. Instead, see it as a doorway. Because where there is no cross, there is no resurrection. And where there is a cross, resurrection is certain.

The Beauty of a Mother's Hands

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 01:08:29 GMT

What the Parable of the Prodigal Son Teaches Us About Self-Care

I was talking recently with a client* about the importance of self-care for moms with little ones at home. She hesitated for a moment, then confessed something almost sheepishly:

"I really like to have nice hands—pretty jewelry, polished nails, soft skin. But honestly, I feel embarrassed to admit that. It just seems frivolous... even a little vain."

Her words struck me, because I knew she wasn't talking about vanity—she was talking about something deeper.

I immediately thought of the parable of the prodigal son. When the son returned home, broken and humbled, his father ran to him, embraced him, and restored him—not only with words, but with symbols. He placed a robe on his shoulders, sandals on his feet... and a ring on his finger.

A ring on his finger!

That detail matters. The ring was likely the family signet ring—an unmistakable sign of belonging, identity, and restoration. It was a father's way of saying, "You are mine. You are home. You are loved."

As I shared this with my friend, her eyes filled with tears. She told me she had just heard a song about the prodigal son on the radio while praying with her husband that very morning. The timing was no accident—God was speaking to her heart.

And then I thought about a mother's hands.

Hands that prepare meals, wipe tears, clean messes, hold tiny fingers, fold laundry, and offer comfort. Hands that pour themselves out in service to their families. Hands that work hard, often unseen, to make a home a place of love and safety.

How beautiful are those hands!

Self-care for a mom is not about vanity—it's about honoring the body and spirit God gave her. When a mother takes a moment to nurture herself, even in something as simple as caring for her hands, she's not being self-indulgent. She's tending to the instruments God uses daily to serve and bless her family.

The ring on the prodigal's finger was a reminder of his worth. Perhaps for some of us, a bit of lotion, a favorite bracelet, or a fresh coat of polish can serve as a quiet reminder too: You belong. You are loved. Your work matters.

So, to the weary mom who feels guilty for wanting something beautiful for herself—remember this: beauty and restoration are part of God's heart for you. Even your hands, busy and tired as they may be, are worthy of a little love.

*Posted with Client's Permission

My Sister's Sister

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 23:11:19 GMT

My sweet big sister, Kitty Cleveland, invited me to be a guest on her "First Friday Friends" Morning Glory show to talk about God's lavish generosity and how he healed me of a lifelong "thorn in the flesh." Take a look!

Fostering Charitable Boundaries in Relationships

caroline@waymakercpc.com (Caroline Sholl) — Thu, 24 Jul 2025 23:39:40 GMT

Healthy Relationship Boundaries for Christians: Balancing Love and Limits

As Christians, we are called to love generously, forgive endlessly, and serve others with open hearts. But we are also called to live wisely. Scripture tells us to “guard our hearts” (Proverbs 4:23), “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15), and not “grow weary in doing good” (Galatians 6:9). Navigating relationships while honoring these truths means learning to set healthy, God-honoring boundaries .

But how do we do this in a way that reflects Christ’s compassion without becoming resentful, exhausted, or enabling harmful behavior?

What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are the emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical lines we draw to protect our well-being and honor God's design for healthy relationships. They define what is acceptable and what is not. Boundaries are not selfish—they are wise, protective, and loving .

Think of boundaries like fences with gates: they keep danger out but still allow love and connection in.

Why Boundaries Matter for Christians

1. Jesus Had Boundaries

Jesus loved perfectly—and yet He didn’t say yes to every demand. He walked away from crowds (Luke 5:16), challenged toxic leaders (Matthew 23), and even let the rich young ruler walk away (Mark 10:17–22). Jesus knew His mission and didn’t let others control or distract Him from it.

2. Boundaries Reflect Our Dignity

We are made in the image of God. Setting boundaries helps us protect our time, energy, and mental health, which are gifts entrusted to us by God. It’s an act of stewardship, not selfishness.

3. They Promote Healthy Love

True Christian love is not enabling, controlling, or codependent. Boundaries help us love others well—with wisdom, not burnout.

Common Challenges: Boundaries vs. Christian Charity

Many Christians struggle with guilt when they begin to say no or step away from toxic relationships. Isn’t that unloving? Doesn’t Jesus say to “turn the other cheek”? (Matthew 5:39)

Here’s the truth: charity and boundaries are not opposites . Healthy boundaries are a form of charity—they honor the humanity of both people in the relationship.

Boundaries:

Prevent resentment from building up
Preserve our capacity to serve joyfully
Model mutual respect and responsibility
Keep us from enabling sin or dysfunction

Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is to say no—with kindness, humility, and clarity.

Best Practices for Christian Boundaries

1. Pray Before You Speak

Ask the Holy Spirit to guide your words and discernment. Are you setting a boundary out of fear or frustration—or from a place of love and conviction?

2. Communicate Clearly and Kindly

Be honest and respectful. “I’m not able to help with that right now” or “I need some time to pray about this before deciding” are simple, clear ways to respond.

3. Avoid Over-Explaining or Justifying

You don’t owe everyone a long explanation. A firm but gentle “no” is often enough.

4. Expect Discomfort

Some people may push back against your boundaries, especially if they’ve benefited from you not having any. That’s okay. Stay rooted in peace, not people-pleasing.

5. Forgive Without Enabling

You can forgive someone and still limit their access to your life. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing.

6. Surround Yourself with Wise Counsel

Seek out spiritually mature mentors, pastoral counselors, or trusted friends who can help you hold healthy boundaries with grace and accountability.

Scripture for Reflection

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23
“Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” – Matthew 5:37
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18
“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” – 2 Corinthians 9:7

Final Thought

Healthy boundaries are not barriers to love—they’re the structure that allows love to flourish without manipulation or burnout . As Christians, we are called to serve others, but also to steward our hearts, protect our peace, and walk in wisdom.

Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out. They’re about creating space for the kind of relationships God wants for us: honest, holy, and whole.

Outcomes of Christian Counseling vs Secular Counseling

caroline@waymakercpc.com (Caroline Sholl) — Thu, 24 Jul 2025 23:32:26 GMT

What Does the Research Show?

For Christians seeking counseling, an important question often comes up: Does it actually matter whether my faith is incorporated into counseling?

Increasingly, research suggests that it can.

Faith-based counseling does not require choosing between sound psychological principles and spiritual care. Research suggests that for people whose faith is an important part of their identity, thoughtfully integrating their religious beliefs into counseling can produce psychological outcomes comparable to conventional approaches—and may provide additional benefits in areas such as spiritual well-being, meaning, connection, and the counseling relationship.

Pastoral counseling takes this integration seriously. Rather than treating a person's spiritual life as something separate from emotional, relational, or psychological struggles, it recognizes that faith often shapes how a person understands identity, suffering, marriage, forgiveness, purpose, morality, relationships, and hope.

The question, then, isn't simply whether faith-based counseling "works." A more meaningful question may be: When faith is central to someone's life, what happens when that faith is intentionally welcomed into the counseling process rather than left outside the door?

1. Faith-Integrated Counseling Can Be Just as Effective Psychologically

Research comparing religiously integrated approaches with conventional counseling has generally found that incorporating a client's faith does not diminish the effectiveness of psychological care.

A landmark study examining more than 200 clients and counselors across six Christian counseling agencies and one secular center found similar improvements in counseling goals and similarly strong counseling relationships across settings. Importantly, however, highly religious clients appeared to benefit particularly when counselors used interventions that were consistent with their faith.

In other words, Christian counseling does not have to be an alternative to sound psychological care. For a Christian client, faith can become another meaningful resource within that care.

This distinction is important. Effective pastoral counseling does not reject what psychology has taught us about human behavior, relationships, attachment, grief, trauma, coping, emotional regulation, or patterns of thought. Instead, those insights can be understood and applied within a Christian understanding of the human person.

2. Research Suggests Faith Integration May Offer Additional Benefits

A 2026 article in RELEVANT, “The Scientific Case for Bringing God Into Your Therapy,” highlighted a growing body of research examining what happens when spirituality is intentionally incorporated into mental health care.

Among the research discussed was a meta-analysis of 23 randomized controlled trials. Spirituality-based approaches showed a moderate advantage over standard treatment among participants with strong religious affiliations.

The article also highlighted the work of Dr. Holly Oxhandler of Baylor University's Garland School of Social Work, who has spent more than 16 years studying the intersection of religion, spirituality, and mental health care. Her research has explored what happens when mental health professionals appropriately recognize and engage the religious and spiritual beliefs that are already important to their clients.

One of the most compelling ideas emerging from this research is actually quite simple: If faith is central to the way someone understands herself and her life, leaving it out of counseling may mean leaving out an important part of the person sitting in front of us.

This does not mean every client needs Christian counseling, nor does it mean that sharing a client's faith automatically makes a counselor more effective. Counselor competence, appropriate boundaries, good listening, sound interventions, and a strong counseling relationship still matter enormously.

But for someone whose relationship with God is central to her life, being able to talk openly about that relationship can make counseling more personally meaningful and more fully integrated.

3. Faith-Integrated Counseling Can Address More Than Symptoms

Research on religiously accommodated psychological interventions, including religiously adapted Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (R-CBT), has found that these approaches can be as effective as conventional treatments in reducing psychological symptoms such as depression.

But researchers have found another important benefit: religiously integrated approaches can also improve spiritual well-being . That distinction matters.

A Christian seeking counseling may certainly want relief from anxiety, depression, grief, marital distress, shame, or overwhelming emotions. But she may also be wrestling with questions such as:

Where is God in this?

What is true about me?

How do I understand what happened to me in light of my faith?

How do I forgive without pretending that what happened was acceptable?

How do I distinguish healthy guilt from destructive shame?

How do I trust God when I am hurting?

Who is God asking me to become through this?

A secular counseling framework may address many of the psychological dimensions of these struggles very effectively. But when spiritual questions are themselves part of a person's distress—or part of her healing—faith-integrated pastoral counseling creates space to address both.

The goal isn't simply to help someone feel better. It can also include helping a person understand herself more clearly, live more freely, grow in virtue, strengthen relationships, discover meaning in suffering, and become more fully the person God created her to be.

4. Pastoral Counseling Integrates Faith and Sound Psychological Principles

Faith-integrated counseling should never reduce complicated emotional struggles to simplistic spiritual answers.

Depression does not necessarily mean someone lacks faith. Anxiety is not proof that someone isn't trusting God enough. Trauma cannot always be resolved by telling someone to forgive. And psychological wounds do not disappear simply because someone prays harder.

Human beings are wonderfully complex. We have emotional, intellectual, physical, relational, and spiritual dimensions, and good care takes the whole person seriously.

Prayer, Scripture, participation in a faith community, and the spiritual practices of one's Christian tradition can be tremendous sources of healing and strength. At the same time, a person may need to understand unhealthy patterns, learn emotional regulation, develop healthier coping skills, examine distorted beliefs, establish appropriate boundaries, grieve significant losses, repair relationships, or receive appropriate medical or mental health care.

These things are not competitors. For Christians, psychological insight can be one of the many tools God uses to bring about healing and growth.

That is one of the strengths of pastoral counseling: we do not have to choose between understanding the mind and caring for the soul.

5. The Counseling Relationship Matters Tremendously

Across decades of counseling research, one finding has remained remarkably consistent: the quality of the relationship between counselor and client matters. Trust matters. Empathy matters. Feeling understood matters. Shared goals matter. A client's confidence in the counseling process matters.

Faith can become an important part of that relationship for religious clients.

Consider how many areas of life are influenced by a person's Christian worldview: marriage, sexuality, parenting, forgiveness, suffering, morality, identity, vocation, family, death, grief, purpose, and hope. These aren't peripheral subjects. They are often the very things people come to counseling to discuss.

When a client's faith is deeply important to her, she should not have to mentally translate everything she hears in counseling through her Christian worldview after she leaves the office. She should be able to bring that worldview into the conversation itself.

A Christian struggling in her marriage, for example, may be asking more than, “What will make me happier?” She may also be asking, “What does love require of me? What are healthy boundaries? What does forgiveness mean here? What responsibilities do I have to my spouse? What does my faith teach about marriage? And what is God inviting me to do?”

Those questions matter. When counselor and client can explore them openly, the client can bring her whole self into the counseling room.

6. Faith Can Be a Clinical Resource Rather Than an Obstacle

For many years, religion and mental health care were sometimes treated as separate worlds. Faith belonged at church; emotional and psychological struggles belonged in the counseling office. But growing research into religion, spirituality, and mental health challenges that divide.

For many people, faith is one of their greatest sources of resilience. It provides community, meaning, identity, hope, practices for coping with suffering, a framework for forgiveness, and a sense that their lives have purpose beyond their present circumstances. Those resources do not suddenly become irrelevant when someone walks into a counseling office.

In pastoral counseling, a client's relationship with God can become part of the healing process when appropriate. Scripture may help challenge a deeply held lie about identity. Prayer may help someone surrender what she cannot control. Christian teaching about human dignity may challenge shame. The concept of grace may help someone understand the difference between responsibility and condemnation. A Christian understanding of forgiveness can help a person move toward freedom without denying justice or abandoning healthy boundaries.

Faith is not merely something added on at the end of counseling. For many clients, it is part of the framework through which everything else makes sense.

7. It Doesn't Have to Be Faith or Psychology

Christians sometimes feel as though they have to choose between two worlds: seek spiritual help from a pastor or church, or seek psychological help from a counselor. That is an unnecessary divide. Churches provide something invaluable: worship, community, spiritual formation, Scripture, prayer, pastoral guidance, and opportunities to encounter God within the life of a faith community.

Mental health professionals offer specialized knowledge and treatment for psychological disorders and serious mental health concerns. Pastoral counselors occupy a unique space in this continuum by intentionally addressing emotional, relational, and spiritual concerns within a faith-based framework. These roles do not need to compete with one another. In fact, responsible pastoral counseling recognizes its own scope and collaborates with psychologists, psychiatrists, physicians, clergy, and other professionals when a client's needs extend beyond it.

The goal is not for one person to provide everything. The goal is for the whole person to be cared for.

What Does the Research Actually Tell Us?

The research does not tell us that Christian counseling is automatically superior to secular counseling simply because it is Christian.

Nor should it. The competence of the counselor matters. The relationship between counselor and client matters. The client's goals matter. The methods being used matter. And different people need different kinds and levels of care.

But the research also does not support the assumption that faith must be removed from counseling in order for counseling to be psychologically sound.

For people whose Christian faith is central to their identity, thoughtfully integrating faith with sound psychological principles can provide effective emotional and relational care while also addressing questions of meaning, identity, purpose, spiritual struggle, forgiveness, and hope.

And perhaps that brings us to a better question than simply asking whether Christian counseling is "better" than secular counseling:

If my faith shapes how I understand myself, my relationships, my suffering, my purpose, and my hope, why would I want to leave such an important part of myself at the door when I enter counseling?

Sources & Further Reading

RELEVANT, “The Scientific Case for Bringing God Into Your Therapy” (2026).

Research on religiously accommodated psychological interventions and religiously integrated Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, including randomized clinical trials and meta-analytic research.

Research examining religiously tailored interventions in Christian counseling and the relationship among client religiosity, counselor-client relationship, and counseling outcomes.

Research by Dr. Holly Oxhandler and colleagues at Baylor University examining religion, spirituality, and their integration into mental health care.

What is an Evangelical or Charismatic Catholic?

caroline@waymakercpc.com (Caroline Sholl) — Thu, 24 Jul 2025 23:28:01 GMT

What Is an Evangelical or Charismatic Catholic?

When people hear the word "Catholic," they often think of ancient rituals, solemn liturgies, and quiet reverence. While that’s certainly part of the beauty of Catholicism, there’s also a vibrant movement within the Church that looks and feels very different— Evangelical and Charismatic Catholicism .

So what exactly does that mean?

Evangelical Catholicism: A Heart for the Gospel

Evangelical Catholics are deeply committed to sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ . The word evangelical comes from the Greek word euangelion, which means “gospel” or “good news.” Evangelical Catholics prioritize:

The sacraments
A personal relationship with Jesus
Regular reading of Scripture
Living out and sharing their faith
A heart for missionary work and evangelization

They don’t see faith as something passive or private—it’s something alive and worth proclaiming.

That being said, Charismatic movements must be grounded in and obedient to the authority of the bishops and the Pope. Without this grounding, there’s a risk of slipping into individualism or doctrinal confusion, which is a concern that’s arisen historically with some charismatic expressions.

Charismatic Catholicism: Empowered by the Holy Spirit

Charismatic Catholics place a strong emphasis on the gifts of the Holy Spirit —including healing, prophecy, and speaking in tongues—as described in the New Testament (see 1 Corinthians 12). Their worship often includes:

Contemporary music and expressive praise
Prayer meetings or healing services
A deep openness to the movement of the Holy Spirit
Laying on of hands and spontaneous prayer

Many people describe the Charismatic Renewal as a “personal Pentecost”—an experience of God’s love that brings renewal, joy, and boldness. The outward form of worship deeply affects the inward form of belief. If liturgy becomes too casual, theatrical, or focused on emotion, it can weaken reverence for the Real Presence in the Eucharist or the solemnity of the Mass.

Still Fully Catholic

It’s important to note: Evangelical and Charismatic Catholics are not outside the Church—they are fully Catholic . They attend Mass, receive the sacraments, and uphold Church teaching. They simply express their faith with a greater emphasis on personal encounter , joyful worship , and active evangelization .

Catholic spirituality is not only about high-energy worship or speaking in tongues—it also includes fasting, silence, sacred art, Gregorian chant, and reverence for the saints. These elements nourish the soul just as deeply and are a rich inheritance not to be downplayed.

A Bridge Between Traditions

Interestingly, many Evangelical and Charismatic Catholics find common ground with Protestant brothers and sisters—especially those from Pentecostal or non-denominational backgrounds. They may even say things like, “I’m Catholic, but I worship like a Baptist.” In this way, they serve as a beautiful bridge between Christian traditions.

While a personal relationship with Jesus and the experience of the Holy Spirit are important, Catholicism teaches that grace is most profoundly and reliably dispensed through the sacraments—especially the Eucharist. Faith must be rooted in the sacramental and liturgical life of the Church, not just in emotional experiences.

Catholic worship is not merely a stylistic preference—it’s theologically rich and sacramentally oriented. While Protestant-style worship may feel vibrant, it risks overlooking the liturgical structure, sacred tradition, and Eucharistic centrality that define Catholic spirituality. Charismatic Catholicism can bridge the two.

Final Thought

Evangelical and Charismatic Catholics remind us that Catholicism is not just a religion—it’s a relationship with the living God . Rooted in tradition, empowered by the Holy Spirit, and passionate about the gospel, they bring a fresh fire to the timeless faith.

Relationships Before Rules: Forming Your Family in Faith

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 20:30:53 GMT

Forming Your Family in Faith

When we think about raising kids in the faith, it’s tempting to focus on what we do : going to Church, saying prayers, following the commandments. But at the heart of our faith isn’t a rulebook—it’s a relationship.

Our God isn’t just a divine lawgiver. He’s a loving Father inviting us into intimacy, healing, and transformative relationship. As parents, our calling is to grow in holiness and raise godly children—but how do we do that?

Let’s explore three essential relationships that help form a strong foundation of faith in our children: with Jesus , with God the Father , and with us .

1. Relationship with Jesus: Introducing Our Children to Him

We are made in the image of God—reflecting His kindness, freedom, creativity, and love. But we’re also not God, and He knows our limitations. That’s why He gives us rules—not to restrict us, but to guide and protect us.

Hebrews 12:11 says,

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness…”

We all need structure. But it’s love that motivates obedience—not fear. That’s why one of the most important things we can do is help our children fall in love with Jesus.

In programs like Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, even preschoolers are introduced not just to Bible stories but to the person of Jesus —His heart, His kindness, His presence. When our children know Him, they’re not following rules out of obligation, but out of relationship.

2. Relationship with God: Modeling a Life of Faith

Our own relationship with God matters deeply to our children's relationship with Him. Children notice whether our faith is something we check off on a to-do list—or whether it's the source of our peace, joy, and direction.

Josh McDowell once said:

“Rules without relationship result in rebellion… or in outward obedience with inward arrogance, anger, or anxiety.”

Is that true?

We’ve all seen it—those who follow the letter of the law but lack the heart behind it. Without a deep relationship with God, rules feel rigid, cold, and authoritarian. But with Him? There’s grace. Friendship. Trust.

Like any relationship, it takes time: prayer, gratitude, the sacraments, seeing God’s hand in the little blessings—yes, even in a great parking spot.

The more positive encounters we have with God, the more we move into what psychologists call Positive Sentiment Override (PSO) . In other words, we assume the best about God—even when life gets hard. And that’s a relationship worth modeling for our kids.

3. Our Relationship with Our Kids: Parenting Through Connection

Here’s the heart of it: relationship comes before rules in parenting too.

We’re not just disciplinarians—we’re mothers and fathers made in God’s image, raising children who are made in His... and ours. They may inherit our freckles or our stubborn streak, our curiosity or our insecurities. And yes, they need structure. But what they need first is connection.

When our relationship with our children is strong, they’re more likely to trust us, listen to us, and follow our guidance—not just because they have to, but because they want to.

This comes through:

Affirming them
Accepting them as they are
Appreciating their gifts and humor
Being available —listening with our eyes, asking open questions, wasting time together
Showing affection
Holding them accountable with love

Three Anchors for Raising Godly Kids

So how do we “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6)? I believe it comes down to three things:

Foster your child’s relationship with Jesus.
Let them come to know Him and love Him. Teach them Bible stories with heart questions: What does this reveal about God’s love for you?
Strengthen your own relationship with God.
Live out a faith your kids can see. Let your trust in God shape how you handle stress, sorrow, and joy.
Build a real relationship with your children.
Be silly. Have family dinners. Go on adventures. Plot imaginary crime capers (yes, we do that). And when needed, make the hard calls with love and confidence.

Bonus Parenting Tools:

Surround them with mentors —youth ministers, godparents, grandparents, faithful adults who all affirm what you are trying to teach them at home
Invite them into spiritual opportunities : "Want to come to adoration and donuts?” “Confession and coffee?” "Slurpees and sacraments?" (Yes, bribery works!)
Explain your ‘non-negotiables’ lovingly. Like medicine they don’t like, some things are required for their good.

Final Thoughts

Raising kids in faith isn’t about creating mini rule-followers—it’s about forming hearts. When our children know they are deeply loved by us and by God, they are far more likely to follow His ways.

So start with relationship—with Jesus, with the Father, and with you. From there, the rules don’t feel like restrictions. They feel like a roadmap to the joy-filled life God designed them for.

Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts—comment below or reach out!

Restored in the Stillness

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 20:20:39 GMT

I was so moved by the readings at Church three consecutive days this week...

In the Gospel on Sunday, Jesus tells Martha that Mary has chosen the better part to sit at his feet and be still. The following day, in the first reading, Moses says to the Israelites who were being pursued by the Egyptions, "The Lord himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still." It's such a clear call to be still and know who our God is!

The following day, the reading quotes St. Paul saying, "Whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old has passed away; behold, the new has come." What does all of this tell us about the heart of Jesus?

These three powerful scriptures—spoken by Jesus, Moses, and Paul—reveal something profoundly beautiful and consistent about the heart of Jesus:

1. His Heart Desires Relationship, Not Just Activity (Luke 10:38–42)

“Mary has chosen the better part, and it will not be taken from her.”

Jesus gently reminds Martha that her service, while good, is not the better part. The better part is found in stillness, in presence, in relationship. This tells us that Jesus doesn’t just want our work—He wants us. His heart is tender, inviting, and relational. He delights in those who choose to sit at His feet, to be with Him.

2. His Heart Is Protective and Strong, Even When We Are Still (Exodus 14:14)

“The Lord himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still.”

When the Israelites were terrified and trapped, God didn’t tell them to strategize or run harder—He told them to be still. Again, be still. They didn't need to do anything for Him to protect them. This reveals a heart that fights for His people, that defends, protects, and saves. Jesus doesn’t expect us to win our own battles; He wants us to trust that He will go before us. His heart is full of mercy and might, and He longs to carry our burdens.

3. His Heart Brings Restoration and New Life (2 Corinthians 5:17)

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

The heart of Jesus is not content to leave us broken or burdened. He transforms. He renews. He breathes life into what was dead. His heart is creative, restorative, and full of hope. In Him, there’s always a new beginning as we sit at his feet, sit in the stillness, and learn from Him.

So what does this tell us about the heart of Jesus?

The heart of Jesus is:

Tender enough to invite us to rest in His presence
Strong enough to fight on our behalf
Powerful enough to transform us and make us new

He doesn’t ask us to strive but to be still , to trust , and to abide . His love is not transactional—it’s relational, redemptive, and deeply personal. To be near Him is the “better part,” and His heart is always drawing us there.

Comparison Is The Thief of Joy

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 20:56:42 GMT

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Temperament Talk

caroline@waymakercpc.com (Caroline Sholl) — Sun, 13 Nov 2022 02:33:46 GMT

"Fearfully and Wonderfully Made"

I recently had the privilege of speaking on temperament at my Church parish, Mary Queen of Peace! If you'd like to check it out, here is a link to the video . It's zoomed too far out to clearly see the slides, so you can follow along with the slideshow here . Below is the graph that I reference throughout the video.

Let me know what you think in the comments!

How is a Pastoral Counselor different from a therapist?

caroline@waymakercpc.com (Caroline Sholl) — Wed, 16 Mar 2022 16:17:23 GMT

Why Christian Counseling?

Finding the right counselor for your needs has the biggest impact on whether counseling will be successful for you or not. Many Christians want a Christian Pastoral Counselor in particular because every facet of their lives is informed by their faith.

Advantages of Pastoral Counseling

There are several reasons why you may choose a Pastoral Counselor or Christian Counselor as opposed to, say, a Social Worker, psychologist, psychiatrist, LFMT (Licensed Family and Marriage Therapist), or LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor). Each of these mental health professionals has significant strengths, and many clients enlist the services of more than one at the same time (say, counseling and psychiatry for medication management).

There are many benefits of choosing a Christian Pastoral Counselor. The main benefit is that your Christian faith is not just respected but it is deliberately incorporated into your counseling sessions. I will never suggest that you do anything that goes against Christian principles. Much of what I do is help my clients identify the lies that they believe - lies that come from the pit of hell. An effective strategy in rooting out these lies is to identify an undeniable truth. As Christians, what greater source of Truth do we have than the Word of God! Every lie that my clients believe can be countered by Scripture. We find a verse that resonates with them and I encourage them to commit that verse to memory.

It may look like a client who, every time she messes us, says to herself, "You're such an idiot." As her Christian Counselor, I help her identify the lie ("I'm an idiot") and identify the truth ("I am capable"). Then we turn to Scripture to confirm this undeniable truth with a verse like Philippians 4:13 which states, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." In session, whenever that lie comes out, I encourage her to stop and state the truth in Scripture. We are creating new neural pathways. It can be a difficult process, and it can take some time, especially if the paths of the lies are well worn. But it can be done with discipline and practice, and it has tremendous impact in helping clients progress toward wholeness.

As we work through the lies, we invite God, the Divine Physician, the Wonderful Counselor, to be with us. And that makes all the difference!

Disadvantages of Pastoral Counseling

The downside to working with a Christian or Pastoral Counselor is that I am not credentialled with insurance. Insurance companies will not credential faith-based pastoral counselors, so my practice is entirely cash pay. That being said, if you have a Health Savings Account, you may be able to use those funds for my services.

Another downside to working with a Pastoral Counselor is that my training did not include as many years of education or supervision as other mental health professionals. I have completed my Masters in Clinical Pastoral Counseling at Colorado Theological Seminary. My program has been intense and efficient, designed to equip me to help my clients in the most effective ways possible. I didn't take classes on diagnosis codes or treatment codes for insurance and billing because it simply isn't necessary since I don't bill to insurance. I didn't spend semesters learning the details of all of the theories that have evolved under Freud and Pavlov and Skinner - although I did learn about all of them. In my classes, we got to the heart of providing clients with excellent care rooted in Christ so that we could get out into the community to provide much-needed Christian counseling. To ensure that I provide the best care to my clients, I pursue continuing education in relevant topics year-round and have a stack of books that I am reading to further my education at any one time.

If you have any questions about Christian Counseling or if you would like to arrange for a complimentary phone consultation to see if I would be a good fit for your needs, please email me at caroline@waymakercpc.com or text me at 504-559-8076. Thanks for reading!

What is legacy work?

Sat, 16 Jan 2021 08:02:32 GMT

I have a love for the edlerly. And I have a love for the dying. So I began volunteering for hospice - it seemed like a perfect fit. I have since been trained as an End of Life Doula. In my training we talked about “life review” and “legacy work.”

Life review is a method of creating closure for those facing the end of their lives. I facilitate life review by encouraging story-telling and asking about pivotal moments in life. It can be a formal process that is recorded for loved ones or it can be more informal and organic and happen over the course of many conversations. The beauty is that it’s healing and therapeutic for everyone involved!

My Mom is in her late 70s and is in good health, but I asked her if I could do a life review with her. It was a little uncomfortable and there were several jokes about, “Do you think I’m about to die or something?” I told her that I wouldn’t regret doing it with her now but may regret not doing it with her later. I came up with a few questions to keep me focused before we spoke and downloaded the StoryCorps app to record it.

It wasn’t as special as I had hoped. My Mom was frazzled by her day and didn’t really have the energy to “go there.” I learned a really important lesson: for this to be impactful it’s important that the person being interviewed is ready to put the energy into doing some work, especially if they’ve lived a long life! I recommend setting aside at least an hour in a quiet space where the interviewee is most comfortable, and I would consider breaking it up into multiple sessions if they have a lot to say.

Legacy work tends to be tangible, something that engages the senses, that is created or initiated by clients with their loved ones in mind. We are only limited by our imagination in creating a legacy project! Imagine how meaningful it would be to have a simple bracelet or pendant made by your loved one after their death. Scrapbooks, letters, audio recordings, time capsules, donations to charity, having trees planted in the local park… there are limitless options! The challenge is to find something that is feasible and that fits with the legacy that the clients want to leave. As a doula, I am able to help clients realize their legacy project from the smallest craft to one that impacts an entire community.

*I originally learned about Life review and Legacy work from Colleen Wright.